just come out here and I will go home with you...
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
