Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
