Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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