Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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