Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize