u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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