have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
