We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
