hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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