He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Farmville is her only friend.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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