shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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