Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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