what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
