you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
