He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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