Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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