Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
