I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
