Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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