he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
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I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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