I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
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Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize