Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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