Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I will pee on everything he values.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
