Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
