I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
