I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
