'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
