I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
