Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
