Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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