her vagine was all disorganized.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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