i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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