big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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