sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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