yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
