And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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