before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
