Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
