Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize