I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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