She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
there's paper in my vomit.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
