Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
