pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
