She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
