dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize