i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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