i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
