She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
