At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
