Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
