Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
