Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
