Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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