I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
