I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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