I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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