Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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