How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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