You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
