I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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