she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
