I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
